Doesn’t life sometimes feel like one long course in self improvement? I might be a life coach/hypnotherapist (and a jolly good one too- wink, wink) but that doesn’t mean I have all the answers, just that I’m good at finding answers 🙂
This week I’m learning … to stay with myself. Some people are naturally good at this. They always know who they are, what they stand for, what they want. They’re always able to work in their own best interest, or according to their own moral standards. They begin with the premise ‘This is my stance. I may change my mind if I think it’s appropriate, but only if it makes sense to me. Now how can I help you?’
For those who have to work hard to stay with themselves, it can be very easy to forget who you are and your highest priorities and unintentionally fall into someone else’s agenda. You start seeing yourself as the other person sees you, and even being as the other person sees you. It’s a way of losing yourself. Some people are so lost, they always see themselves as other people see them. If they had to look through their own eyes at themselves or better yet feel what it’s like to be themselves from inside, they wouldn’t know where to start.
Do you know who you really are? And once you’ve found yourself, do you know what it means to stay with yourself?
As far as knowing who you are, it helps a great deal to sit down for a little while with pen and paper, think about all the different things you do in your life and ask yourself who you are in each context. So for example one of the things I do is mothering. Who am I as a mother? Who am I as a professional? Etc etc. You might not have done this before, and some of the answers might not come easily – that’s ok, nothing’s set in stone, you can always go back and change it later, just write down what you get. That process gives you who you are in a physical sense. Then if you like, you can do a hypnotic or meditative process to discover who you are in a deeper metaphysical sense. You’ll find that’s harder to capture in words – it’s a more experiential thing, and it’s something everyone should do, as a way of connecting to their source of power. I might run a workshop on this one day – it’s something I frequently do with clients and they find it very transformative.
I think part of life’s lesson is to find that source of power – that inner light if you will – and then learn to stick with it and to bring it through into our everyday living.
So to stay with yourself find your inner light and connect to it. You will feel a sense of peace and coming home. You will feel a sense of empowerment, as though you’re a light bulb and electricity is finally flowing through you, and you can light up and shine out to the world. You will feel a sense of rightness. Then all you have to do is maintain those feelings. Carry on through life, and if those feelings start to lessen, connect again. The tension falls away and you feel at peace again.
The same is true in a physical sense too. If you’re starting to lose yourself, you can remind yourself of who you are and what you stand for in each part of your life.
Why bother to connect back to yourself each time? Because then your every thought and every action will come from a place of integrity. You will be acting on your morals and your principals, and not dancing to someone else’s tune or to the general world hypnosis. I think it’s worth the effort, don’t you?
It’s -Very Important- in this process to have people to support you, people who know who you really are, people who are on the same path themselves. Your circle of support will help you to stay with yourself when you are temporarily weaker. They know who you are, even when you forget. If you lose your way they help you come back to yourself, and you can often do the same for them, in their times of weakness. With them you can be yourself. The more often you are yourself, the stronger yourself becomes. The stronger you get connected to yourself, the less likely you are to lose yourself in the tough times.
Then an interesting thing happens. When you are truly with yourself, and you ain’t budging, people who were working intentionally or unintentionally to draw you into their agenda are often drawn into your agenda instead! You don’t have to misuse this. Your agenda can be to help them regain their self respect or help them see a better path. And you know those people or situations that keep popping up in your life in one guise or another? Being with yourself gives you another perspective. It’s like you suddenly zoom out and you can see the patterns that you keep getting sucked into. Then you have the option to change your approach and do something different.
Most importantly, as I’ve said above, you then get to carry out your life from your own perspective and according to your own standards. You start to get much more of what you want, and you get to create your world as you want it. And you get to be truly, madly and deeply … happy!
This week find yourself and stay with yourself!