Category Archives: Abundance
You know what I just woke up singing (in my head obviously … and I’m about to betray my age here, not to mention my hitherto taste in movies …)
So Senator, so Janitor so long for a while
Remember you’re never fully dressed without a smile…
So as I progressed in a cave womanly fashion down the stairs to write this (having tea, have evolved back to the present!) I was thinking to myself: “Hmm, what’s better, to always put a good face on it and say you’re happy, whether you are or not, or to be honest and say so if you’re not feeling that great?
There are two camps aren’t there? The ‘Cosmetic Smilers’ would say that you smile no matter what, keep a tight hold on your emotions, never tell anyone how you’re actually feeling because it’s not professional, or not socially acceptable and you would bore people …
And then of course there are the ‘honesty bunnies’ that will go on and on telling you about one dreadful situation after another that they are enduring, every single time you see them without fail, so that if you haven’t got 40 minutes to spare you have to make sure not to say ‘hi, how are you’ in greeting, or boy do you get an ear-full!
Decisions, decisions … plasticized chalky smile, or social bore…
Of course there is a 3rd way … BE HAPPY!
Life has its ups and downs, sure, but for most of us, there’s plenty to smile about. Some times it’s good to remind ourselves of all the things we have to appreciate:
Do you and the people you love have a roof over your head and food to eat?
How many people do you have in your life who love or care about you in some way?
How many people do you love and care about?
Do you get to have fun, relax, see beautiful things and places on occasion?
Do you get to contribute your gift to the world in some way, big or small?
See, there’s plenty to smile about already. And when you add to that the idea that we all rest in this beautiful soup of energy that is the Universe, that was designed to give us all our needs, and everything we need to succeed, then you begin to understand more and more that we attract challenges to ourselves so that we can grow and master those challenges. That we have on tap everything we need to do well and achieve our desires, we just have to be open to the opportunities and ‘special offers’ that come our way …
The problem is never ‘out there’, always ‘in here’. It doesn’t matter what comes your way, good or bad, happy or sad, easy or challenging. It’s what you do with it that counts. Attitude is everything. And you know what? That often starts with a smile …
So this week gather your wits, count your blessings and know that if your plans are wholesome and in line with the development of the Universe, you will succeed. It’s as simple as that. That’s something to smile about!
Feel good 🙂
You know, being a life coach, I practice what I preach, so every year I sit down, reassess the past year, look at my lifelong goals and plan for the year ahead. The boundaries between one year and the next are a little blurry for me, as being Jewish, I also have a Jewish New Year, so in practice it tends to be a new year ‘period’ that runs from sometime in September until the end of December! So unlike many I’m already thinking about my New Year’s resolutions…
I’ve recently started to have a mantra or slogan for the year – something that’s simple yet digs deep and affects everything I do. Last year it was ‘Compassion, Not Judgement’, which I’ll probably write about at some stage. This year it’s something out of a Rhonda Byrne book …*shuffles off to go find the book and get the quote right*…
Ok, here it is…
“… with anything you don’t love, simply turn away from it without judgement and you won’t include it in your life”
Rhonda Byrne – The Power
Now I know I’m writing for an educated audience here, most of whom are aware of the Force of Attraction – that the more attention you give something the more of it you bring into your life. What I used to have a problem with was the other side of things. It’s all very well focusing on wealth, health and all the other good stuff, but what do you do when something nasty ups and smacks you in the face? Life’s not all rosy-sunny all the time is it? And if you then say to yourself ‘this thing is bad and I hate it’ you’re just giving it all the focus it needs to turn into something bigger. A lot of people will tell you – “focus on the good stuff, don’t focus on the bad stuff” but how do you ‘not focus’ on something? When you ‘not focus’, you’re actually focusing on it!
So those two words in the above sentence – ‘turn away’, really solved a problem for me. When it rains on my parade, or someone disrespects me, or the traffic just won’t move, and it’s a situation I can’t do anything about, I just turn away. Physically if I can, mentally if I’m bodily stuck there. I turn away and find something more productive and enjoyable to think about or do. You can’t fight the rain, force someone to respect you or snap your fingers and magic away the traffic, so what’s the point of resisting it?
Which brings me to another point – Acceptance. I’ve written about this in a previous blog (https://rivkadavid.wordpress.com/2011/08/10/38/ ) so I won’t delve into it here, I mention it only to point out that accepting a thing you can’t change allows you to drop your obsession over it, and get on with your life instead. So I think it’s relevant here too.
With that in mind, here’s my new 3 point plan for dealing with what appear to be adverse circumstances, and at the same time keeping a hygienic ‘Force of Attraction’:
1- If you can do something about it, in whole or part, then Take Action – every little positive action always bears fruit, if not in the situation at hand, then in the future.
2- For things you are currently powerless to change, practice Acceptance (and do please see https://rivkadavid.wordpress.com/2011/08/10/38/ so you understand what I mean here). These things happen, it isn’t personal. Heavy traffic isn’t personal, and neither is the intention of someone who disrespects you – even if they think it is! Their disrespect for you is about their journey. What you do with their disrespect is about your journey and is the only thing you’re responsible for. Actually I would say practice acceptance of the things you do change too – acceptance always comes first – once you accept something challenging, you remove the negative energy that surrounds it, leaving you free to act with a clear head.
3- Then once you have accepted and dealt with what you can, Turn Away from the rest – and Turn Towards something positive. Turn your attention to something creative and constructive. Think about the people you love, and the people who love you. Think about your favourite projects and the things you intend to materialise in your life. If you can physically move away from the challenge, go do something fun – take a walk … scare other adults by going on the swings and be sure to balance on a low brick wall on the way! Go spend some time working to bring good things into your life … make some money, send an email to a friend, take your kids out for ice cream.
Well that’s my plan anyway. Actually it reminds me of The Serenity Prayer (see here for the rest of it http://www.drnadig.com/serenity.htm )
G-d grant me
the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the Courage to change the things I can,
and the Wisdom to know the difference;
With an action point at the end – Go Do Something Cool!
This year I shall Turn Away from all things unchangeably heavy, and so TURN TOWARDS all the beautiful, wonderful, delightful things – and there are so many your heart could positively burst into flowers at the thought of it!!!
I invite you to join me – let’s all harness the Force of Attraction together and make life even more beautiful!
You know what else? I’d love to hear YOUR mantra for the coming year – come on peeps, give it some thought – and share in the comments section below, so that everyone benefits.
Have a stupendously fantastic week 🙂
Every morning, as I brush my teeth, like a trigger the dentist’s voice rings in my ear ‘electric toothbrushes are always better than manual ones’. And every morning I say to myself ‘how do they know?’ Well ok I suppose electric toothbrushes can be better relied upon to brush more strongly, provide more brush strokes and thereby remove more plaque … but how do they know that more vigorous brushing won’t wear away your tooth enamel … or maybe the vibrations from the toothbrush might, I dunno, rattle your teeth about too much and make them fall out earlier … who knows? Yet we’re all willing to accept the dentist’s recommendation to use an electric toothbrush…
Well, as my mind was pondering this bland conundrum the other morning I followed the thought along to ‘Just think how many other things we take as fact, which are actually just theory’. That we’ll be well and healthy tomorrow, that nuclear war won’t break out, that we are actually the child of our parents (hospital mix-ups do happen you know!), our religious or spiritual standpoint, or the lack of it, that when you see something red, and somebody else sees something red that you actually both experience red in the same way … the list goes on. It’s a little unsettling when you first think about it … that a lot of what we base our lives on is theory. What if the theory is wrong? What if I get to 70 and all my teeth fall out because I’ve used an electric toothbrush for so long?
I like living on a theory though. For one thing, life is never dull and you never quite know what tomorrow will bring … but I think it’s more than gratuitous excitement. You see if you live in a world of theory, the possibilities are endless. Once you realise that pretty much everything is unstable, if you can find a way to place yourself ‘at cause’, i.e. be a force that makes things happen, or holds them as they are, or stops them happening, then you can do anything.
I think that’s a real key to life. Being comfortable in instability. A lot of people like things to remain stable and when elements of their world change unexpectedly that’s unsettling for them. Instead of being rattled by the change though, you can see it as an opportunity. To create something new, to be the most updated version of you, to understand something in a deeper way.
Embracing the possibility of instability allows you to be truly alive. If we always wait for ‘absolute facts’ before we make decisions, we delay and delay in taking action, and often those opportunities go stale and pass us by. If, on the other hand we’re willing to act on an estimate or a 70% likelihood, we get to take action more frequently, and get to live life far more on our own terms. The ride may be a little choppier, and sometimes we’ll make mistakes, but we’ll get more of what we want and boy will the process be exhilarating!
So this week embrace uncertainty, live on the edge and push the boundaries of possibility – it will be the ride of your life!
Ps: A quick shout out to my colleague Sara Jane Tepper (http://www.facebook.com/sarahjanetepper), who gives a fantastic full body massage amongst other things. If you’re living on the edge you need to take good care of yourself and this is one way! – check out Sara Jane’s website http://www.hertsholistic.com from where I copied the following:
Herts Holistic is run by Sarah-Jane Tepper and is based at Elstree Film Studios in Hertfordshire. She is ITEC and VTCT qualified and has Diplomas in Anatomy & Physiology, Massage, Indian Head Massage and Reflexology . She trained at the Central London College of Reflexology and the Middlesex School of Complementary Medicine. She is also qualified in Reiki I and II. Sarah-Jane writes Being Holistic, a column for At Home magazine online and is an independent distributor for Forever Living. She is fully insured and a member of the Association of Reflexologists and the Federation of Holistic Therapists.
When we camp out, we don’t mess about – it’s like moving house … and then two weeks later doing the same thing in reverse. Every year, as I get the roof box down off the car, narrowly avoiding the kitchen window and several children, shlep all the tentage, camping chairs and camp cookware back into the loft and process enough dirty laundry to make a washer-woman weep, the thought crosses my mind … ‘is it really worth it?’ The answer is always ‘Absolutely, Yes!’ and here’s why …
This year we camped in the Lake District. The weather was fantastic, we were perhaps 10 paces from the shores of Ullswater and had ducks and swans as well as their various babies for company. The kids who are rarely what you might call ‘well manicured’ over the course of the two weeks became positively feral. I mostly kept my mobile off and gradually slipped into the rhythm of a simpler life. Wake with the sun, chill out and marvel at stunning lake, experiment with camping-style pancakes for breakfast, mull over whether we actually need to go anywhere as we are already there, progress to possible outing, or just walk down to lake and let kids get soaked and muddy as they hatch plans for taking a duckling home or build a jetty out of stones. Have lunch at some point, hang out and read to kids at the swings, put together barbeque for dinner. Get everyone changed for bed as the day gets older and sleep with the sun. Next morning another variation of the same.
It took almost a week for the rat-race to fall from my shoulders. I felt lighter somehow and more in tune. The one telephone client I did work with over the course of the holiday commented a couple of times that I seemed more perceptive than usual and was just ‘picking things up’. It didn’t matter what day of the week it was or even what time of day it was … in a sense it even became a bit of a meditative experience.
Two weeks later here we are back home again, most of the aftermath cleared away, and school looming on the horizon. So I ask myself, what souvenirs did I come home with? Well I did come home with a realistic-looking egg made of bouncy rubber that has been safely installed in my mother in law’s fridge, but I’m talking about a different kind of souvenir. You know you always learn something in meditation. That’s the point of this week’s post really. Many of us have been away, or at least had a break to our usual routine so what have we come back with? This is really a yearly opportunity to see things with fresh eyes. Personally, one thing I’ve realised is that I’m juggling far more balls than I knew I was. Life can be a bit like that, one responsibility after another sneaking up onto your back. You may well find the same thing in your life. We need to ask ourselves ‘How much of this is necessary and useful, and what can I just drop?’ Dropping dead weight leaves us more energy for the things we really care about. In reassessing where we place our energies, now is also a great time to ask ‘Am I really getting the juice out of my life? What could I add or change to make my life even more fulfilling?’ Finally, I think this is a time for gratitude. Sometimes we need time out from our lives so that we can come back and really appreciate what we already have. Gratitude attracts an abundance of everything good and we have so much to be grateful for, even on the simplest levels. Having returned from living on a field for two weeks I find myself really grateful for running water, central heating and indoor loos for a start!
So I leave you with these three post summer holiday questions:
1- Have I any commitments that are redundant and can be dropped?
2- What would I like to bring into my life now?
3- What do I have in my life that I can be truly and newly grateful for?
Have a fantastic and fulfilling week, and –why not? – a fabulous year ahead!
The sun is shining beautifully, there are just a few little clouds scudding across the sky and my friend and I have taken our kids to a pick-your-own farm. We are in a huge field chequered by big plots of various vegetables, in the middle of a plot of onions so big that it takes a couple of minutes just to walk across it. There I am carrying the baby in the sling, laden with a bag of beautiful, fresh onions in one hand, complete with long spring-oniony type greens and pulling onions out of the ground with the other hand. My son comes up to me and with his typical ‘Mummy is Superwoman’ thinking tries to get me to carry his bag of onions as well!
‘Let’s just put it down here, and you can come back and put more in as you go’ I suggest, leaving the bag on the ground. ‘But Mummy’ he says ‘someone will steal it!’
‘Look around’ I tell him ‘there are a million onions – who’s going to want to steal yours?’
We often think like that don’t we? You can be right in the middle of a field of possibilities and still feel impoverished, like you don’t have enough or that someone is going to steal it all away from you! Feeling ‘poor’ isn’t good for the moral, and it keeps us stuck. When you feel like there isn’t enough, you can’t live large, in case you ‘use it all up’, and quite often you don’t even see the opportunities around you because you ‘know’ that they aren’t there!
How about knowing something different? How about knowing that there IS more than enough? How about knowing that we can have anything we want if we can just be open to receiving it? How about allowing yourself to live with an attitude of ABUNDANCE instead?
Remember Schrodinger’s cat? If you don’t, that’s your physics homework for this week. Basically we influence the world around us just by looking at it. That’s not me being fanciful, you’ll find it in your physics textbook. In a sense we create by looking. So if you want abundance in every sense, you need to look for it, and absolutely expect to find it! We draw to us that which we expect to experience, both positive and negative. So if you want to change your luck, start by changing your expectations.
I close with another story about my son – children truly are our greatest teachers. There we are at a large seaside fairground. I am playing ‘baggage woman’ and have all the coats and bags and babies and drinks, and I’m sitting there watching the world go by, whilst my son and his cousin go from one ride to the next. My attention falls on the nearby games stalls and I can’t help noticing that there’s a little skulduggery going on. There’s this guy, obviously the stooge, carrying a massive fluorescent orange alien teddy bear on his back, and walking up and down the fairground. Every now and then he stops at the ‘knock the cans down to win a prize’ stall, chucks a couple of balls at the cans, has a laugh with the stallholder, and then walks off carrying the gigantic teddy on his back, supposedly having won. I know my boy is going to want one of these, and sure enough, as soon as they come off the rides, he insists on having a go at winning this teddy.
‘But it’s a con!’ I explain to him. ‘Watch the people who are playing, nobody’s winning.’
‘Yes they are’ he says ‘I saw a man with one!’
‘He’s a con too!’ I say ‘he’s pretending he’s won so that people will come and play the game! Look, take the two pounds – you can have it. Put it in your pocket and take it home.’
‘No!’ he says ‘I want to win the teddy!’
You try arguing with a five year old. ‘But you can’t possibly win it’ I say, exasperated, ‘the game is set up so that you can’t win! You’ll lose your money and get nothing. In fact I’ll bet you a week’s earnings that you can’t win that teddy! If you have a go at this, then you can’t go on any of the other games!’ ‘Fine!’ he says and beaten I take them to the stall.
He puts his money on the counter. He’s so little he can barely see over the surface. So the stallholder invites him to sit up on top. ‘As you’re young’ he tells him ‘you can have three tries instead of two’. My son nods, looking ever so serious. All I can think about is the disappointed tantruming I’m going to have to deal with all the way home. He throws one ball and it goes wildly off into the corner of the stall. He throws another and it’s just as wide. Then the stallholder himself takes the last ball and throws it at the cans, just leaving two standing! He picks up the ball and hands it back to my son, who throws it again. And he gives him the ball back again. And again. He keeps giving my son the ball until all the cans are down. ‘Well done!’ he tells him ‘You Won!’ The smile on my boy’s face could light up the pier.
Well that’s how I ended up handing over a week’s earnings to my five year old … word is word. He taught me a lesson though. He taught me that if you want something enough, and you believe in it enough and insist on it in the face of all dissuaders, and actually go for it, then you can get it, no matter what the odds.
So this week know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are surrounded by every opportunity you could possibly need. See the abundance and give yourself permission to receive it. Claim your destiny. There is magic in the eye of the beholder.