How to Get Rid of Negative Thoughts – a Small Boy’s Story

Young kids are sooooooooooooooo exhausting.  They are full time, 24/7, round the clock, always on and you as the parent (or your chosen surrogate!) have to be there to meet their needs whatever the weather, whenever.

I am absolutely out for the count today, you know why?  Yesterday my lovely almost seven year old saw some advert on the TV for a programme attempting to verify entities such as werewolves, demons and some other scary thing, I forget what.  Now he has this habit of watching or listening to things that scare him (E.g. Roald Dahl’s ‘Witches’) and then afterwards getting really scared for ages.  He’s really drawn to all this stuff, then afterwards he pays.  He asked me to record the show for him so he could see it.  Of course I refused, because it was clearly inappropriate for his age and besides I knew what would happen afterwards.  He spent some time trying to win me over and get me to change my mind but I wasn’t budging.  He’s a bright boy, so I explained to him that you get more of what you think about in life.

“Does that mean that if I think about werewolves I’ll get werewolves?” he said.

“Well no of course not, werewolves don’t exist”  I answered “but if you spend a lot of time thinking about werewolves then you might end up hearing more stories about werewolves or getting more scared of werewolves.   You like to watch a lot of kids programs involving fighting and anger ((there are far too many in my opinion, all the kids in his class watch them and so does he … whatever’s the current trend – Bakugan, Yugioh, Ben 10 and on and on, all targeted at his age group)) so do your friends and you end up with a lot of fighting in school, don’t you? Imagine if you chose more things to watch that were funny or interesting …What are some nice things you could think about?  You know you can never really make scary thoughts go away, what you have to do is fill your head with nice thoughts instead so that there’s no room for the scary ones anymore.” I made my point and not that long afterwards it was bed time.

Anyway having got to sleep maybe 11.30 myself, 3.34am I am nudged awake and this little somewhat hoarse voice says: “Mummy I’m really thirsty.” “So go downstairs and get a drink” I tell him, and fall asleep again. A few minutes later- “Mummy I’m so thirsty I can’t sleep”. Basically he is too scared to go downstairs himself, because he can’t stop thinking about the advert with the werewolves and demons and all the rest of it.  I groggily drag myself out of bed and accompany him to get a drink.  After he has his drink he lies there quietly and starts to fall asleep.  Then all of a sudden his breathing changes, and I know where he’s going.

“It’s ok,” I tell him “I’m here.”

“Mummy” he says in a small voice “What are some nice things to think about?”

“Who loves you?” I ask him.

“I don’t know …” he says.

“Who loves you enough to get up at 3.30 in the morning and help you get a drink?” I prod.

“You do” he smiles and his voice starts to relax a bit.

“Who else loves you? And who else?” One by one he names all the people in the family, first immediate, then wider.  As he does, his body loses its tension and he starts to sound sleepy again.

“There are so many people” he says in wonder.

“Yes there are” I answer “how does it feel to be loved by so many people?” He smiles again, turns over and falls asleep.

It takes me a lot longer, and I don’t fall back into a deep sleep again before I have to get up at 6.  Hence my cave woman like demeanour today!

I can’t help thinking though, what a lucky boy he is to learn the skills it takes to redirect your mind before he even reaches seven!  Nobody taught me that till I was an adult.  What applies to a child equally applies to all of us.  You get more of what you think about.  Actually, you get more of what you FEEL about.  Anything you put emotion into, positive or negative will keep coming back to you.  Take a little look through your life and you’ll see it’s true.  Look at the types of people you draw in, and the types of situations you find yourself in.  Look at the recurrent thoughts that pop into your head.  Do you see any patterns? If there are elements of your experience that you’re not too happy about, you can change them.  Don’t bother fighting them and pushing them away – that just brings them back.  Instead re-direct your focus.  Think about what you want.  Think about who loves you and who and what you’re passionate about. Bring good things into your life.  We are ALL powerful enough to do that for ourselves. If my almost seven year old can do it, then I can do it and so can you.

Wishing you a powerful force of attraction for all things positive this week,

Rivka

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Posted on November 9, 2011, in Inspiration and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Amazing insight. It is very true, if you focus on negative you will be more prone to seeing negative, and thinking negative. It’s very important to think about the positive. On the other hand, why is it all kids go through this phase of being obsessed with ghost, werewolves, and other demonic things?? My sister is like that to. Ah well, so proud of your son learning this powerful lesson! Aloooha.
    Emily

    • Hi there Emily! Some kids just love to get scared, don’t they! I think it might be a way of preparing for the world – or what they expect the world to be. You know, like lion cubs play-fighting with each other teaches them to handle fighting for food, survival and dominance when they grow up. ~The thing is, the world often turns out to be precisely the way you expect it to be … expect to have to fight and you probably will have to. Expect life to be beautiful and conflict free and by and large it probably will be. A message to really reinforce for all our young people – expect good stuff!

  2. “Who loves you enough to get up at 3.30 in the morning and help you get a drink?”

    It’s funny how they forget the mommies! When Tech Support was a wee thing, we went to his kindergarten readiness test. The person asked what his daddy did and he delivered a dissertation. Then she asked what I did.

    He said I talked on the phone.

    I almost died.

    How about I shop for the groceries, make the food, do the laundry, wash the dishes, put the dishes away, put the laundry away, make sure everyone has clothes, handle the bills…

    And then I realized, I needed to go back to work. (Part-time.) So he could see what I do for the world.

    You were a wonderful mommy in the middle of the night.

    Even if it made you all yawnishy the next day. 😉

    Nice to meet you on your page, Rivka.

    • Hi Renée, thank you and what a funny story! I think it’s because we’re so intrinsic, we kind of become invisible. Like if someone asks you what you’re grateful for in your life most people don’t say “I’m grateful that my heart keeps beating and that I continue to be able to draw oxygen from the air” or “I’m grateful that the sun rises every day” – the more essential, the more it slips under the radar …
      Glad you went back to part time work … less for proving your worth, more for widening your circle of influence … I’d let you teach my kids any day 🙂
      and I’m glad we’ve met too!

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